Bullying 

What is Bullying?

Intentionally hurting someone else verbally, socially or physically.

We know bullying can happen anywhere: at school, online or in the community. But to prevent bullying, adults must be proactive in teaching children positive social and emotional skills.

It’s also good to prepare your child for what they will do if they see bullying or if they are bullied themselves. 

Don’t wait for bullying behaviors to happen to have conversations with children about bullying.

When I was young, we didn’t have the word bullying. It was just being picked on by other kids. I was a fat teenager, with not so pretty clothes and glasses. Kids can be very mean, but you just learned to cope with it! You could ignore them, make fun of them back or go on with your life. Most of the time the kids were jealous, had been hurt themselves or just plain hurtful. Or sometimes you take matters into your own hands like my brother and I did. There was this kid who constantly picked on all of us at the bus stop. One day we took matters into our own hands and I knocked him down, my brother sat on him, and I beat the crap out of him with my clarinet case. End of problem! Not a good way to do things but necessary! 

I am not sure why someone put a label on such an act, but it has become a national problem. I think it always was just publicized more nowadays.

Counseling young children about bullying requires listening without overreacting, validating their feelings, and reassuring them that it is not their fault. Teach them to be assertive, walk away, use the buddy system, and report incidents to trusted adults. Focus on building confidence, teaching empathy, and role-playing responses to create a safe environment. 

Key Counseling Approaches

• Listen and Validate: When a child shares a bullying experience, listen calmly without immediate overreaction or judgment. Assure them that coming to you was the right thing to do and that you will support them.

• Define Bullying: Explain that bullying is unfair, repetitive behavior meant to harm, not a sign of affection.

• Reassure Fault: Explicitly tell the child that bullying is not their fault.

• Encourage Openness: Keep communication lines open by asking specific questions about their day, such as who they sit with at lunch or play with at recess. 

Practical Strategies for Kids

• Be an Upstander: Teach children to include others, tell bullies to stop if safe, and get help from adults.

• Use the "3 Rs": Teach them to Recognize bullying, Report it, and Refuse to accept it.

• Assertiveness and Safety: Advise them to walk away, use a confident voice, and avoid retaliating with violence, which can worsen the situation.

• Buddy System: Encourage them to stay with friends to reduce the likelihood of being targeted. 

Parent and Guardian Actions

• Document Incidents: Keep a record of events, including dates and details, to share with school authorities.

• Partner with Schools: Inform teachers or administrators and work together on a resolution.

• Build Confidence: Encourage participation in activities, hobbies, and friendships outside the bullying environment to boost self-esteem.

• Model Kindness: Show children how to treat others with respect and discuss empathy, ensuring they understand that everyone deserves to feel safe.

• Monitor Tech: For older children, monitor social media and limit screen time to prevent cyberbullying. 

Preventing bullying requires a proactive, community-wide approach focusing on education, open communication, and fostering inclusivity. Key strategies include encouraging "upstander" behavior, fostering empathy, setting clear rules, and supporting victims while educating perpetrators. Consistent, swift action from adults is crucial to creating a safe environment. 

How to Prevent bullying

Here are 10 effective ways to prevent bullying:

1. Promote an "Upstander" Culture: Encourage children to stand up for others instead of being passive bystanders. Teach them to support victims, report incidents, and refuse to participate in bullying.

2. Implement School-Wide Rules and Policies: Create a safe, inclusive environment by consistently enforcing anti-bullying rules. Staff, parents, and students must know the consequences of bullying behavior.

3. Encourage Open Communication: Maintain open dialogues with children, encouraging them to talk about their feelings, school experiences, and any incidents of bullying.

4. Foster Empathy and Inclusivity: Teach kids to be kind and include others, especially those who are often left out or sitting alone. Encourage empathy by asking them to "put themselves in another's shoes".

5. Teach Conflict Resolution and Emotional Regulation: Help children learn how to manage their emotions and cope with conflict constructively, rather than acting out aggressively.

6. Utilize the "Buddy System" or Peer Support: Encourage kids to pair up to avoid being alone, as bullies often target children who are by themselves.

7. Establish Clear Anti-Cyberbullying Guidelines: Monitor online behavior, create rules for appropriate digital communication, and encourage saving evidence (screenshots) of cyberbullying.

8. Identify and Watch for Warning Signs: Be vigilant for signs of bullying, such as unexplained injuries, lost belongings, school avoidance, changes in eating/sleeping, or anxiety.

9. Model Respectful Behavior: Adults should lead by example in how they interact with others, avoiding aggression in discipline and demonstrating empathy.

10. Offer Mentorship and Social-Emotional Programming: Use school programs to help children form strong, positive relationships, which decreases the likelihood of bullying behavior.