Learn to Laugh at YOU!

This is a topic that I have battled for a long time. Somehow I got it in my brain that I needed to be perfect for people to truly love me. I do not think I fully laughed at myself until I divorced my husband Mark. For some stupid reason he was the biggest reason I felt the need to be perfect. One thing I realized is I spent all those years comparing myself to others. My mother, Mother-In-Law and my sister-in-law. Some how I wasn't as good as them, I wasn't:

1) Organized

2) A good house cleaner

3) A cook *This was one of my biggest insecurities

4) Skinny  and pretty enough

5) My hair was already going gray at 20 years old

To be able to laugh at yourself you need to do these things first:

1) Know Your True-Self - Thru self-reflection and meditation this can help realize your eternal nature, leading to inner confidence. This will help you focus on one's capabilities and value, rather than external opinions, fostering true and lasting confidence. Reflect on who you are often, look at yourself through other peoples eyes and love who you are.

2) Act with Purpose - Living with purpose aligns your actions with your core values, creating a sense of clarity and direction. It will foster inner confidence , as your choices resonate with what truly matters to you.

3) Detach from External Validation - By valuing self-approval and aligning with righteousness, you will cultivate resilience and enduring confidence. Practice mindfulness and self-reflection to strengthen the best foundation, allowing you to stay strong through life's challenges.

4) Embrace Progress, not Perfection - If you focus on your progress you will nurture confidence by emphasizing your growth and learning. Embrace your imperfections as opportunities for improvement. Set small goals that are achievable and celebrate when you reach them. A Strong foundation is achieved and helps you have confidence when challenges happen. Trust your inner voice! Face challenges it encourages personal growth! 

Letting go of fear and doubts liberates your mind which will in turn allow you to pursue dreams with clarity and confidence.

Exercise To Do - Laughing at YOURSELF

Exercise One

Hasya yoga

Laughter yoga. Laughter yoga (Hasya yoga) is a laughter exercise program which emphasizes three elements: laughter & playfulness, yogic breath-work, and mindfulness meditation. Laughter Yoga was introduced in Mumbai, India in 1995 by family physician Madan Kataria and his wife Madhuri.

Exercise Two - Laughing Alone

1.) Begin by consciously relaxing the jaw. Every time you laugh alone, open your mouth a bit wider to enable laughter to flow from the belly. If your mouth is tightly closed, laughter will come from the throat or the upper chest. 

2.) The goal is to have your laughter come from your lower belly which will engage the diaphragm. Engaging the diaphragm stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system and will relax the metabolic systems.

3.) The great thing about laughter is that it functions as aerobic exercise, but for the most part you can do this type of exercise wearing whatever you want. No gym clothes required. In general, you’ll want to wear loose and comfortable clothes for laughter and breathing exercises. Wear your pants below the navel, so as not to hinder abdominal movements. Avoid tight belts that restrict belly movement.

4.) Intentional laughing and breathing exercises for at least 10-15 minutes. You can take short breaks for relaxation. Begin with 10 minutes daily and gradually work up to 15 or more minutes.  

5.) Laughing alone should ideally be practiced the first thing every morning, since it will put you in a cheerful mood and keep you feeling good day. Of course, any time that works for you and your schedule is a good time for laughter. 

The following section is a description of a handful of Laughter Yoga exercises to try when you are laughing alone. These are just a few suggestions.. Remember, if you are laughing heartily, you are doing it right!

1.) Ha, ha, ha, Hee, hee, hee; Ho, ho, ho, laughter sounds

2.)Aloha Laughter

3.) Calcutta Laughter

4.) Deep breath, HA HA HA Mantra

Tips for getting better at laughing at yourself

1.) Share stories with each other

Take 5 minutes a day to reflect on and record the seemingly mundane moments of your day. After a few days of “homework,” it becomes easy to see the little stories that infuse your life with humor and meaning.. 

2.) Schedule joy into your life

“[Seek] out people/animals/places/activities that make your heart feel lighter,” he says, even if it’s just a few seconds of looking at a picture of a place that makes you happy. Having something to look forward to, like a hobby or a favorite comfort food, is also useful. 

3.) Find ways to lend a helping hand

If you’re not sick or bogged down with caring for others, and you can do so safely, volunteer at an organization or make a few meals for a neighbor who’s sick or grieving. Making a contribution is its own reward. 

Exercise 3 

Laughing at your own mistakes reflects that you are self –aware, you are modest about your yourself and your abilities. The Behavioral Scientists consider laughing at yourself as “self-directed laughter without putting yourself down’’. It is not healthy if it is motivated by self-demeaning damages. The ability to laugh at yourself has several benefits to you:It helps you to remain humble and stimulates a positive outlook in life. When you laugh at yourself, you immunise yourself against any insults hurled at you. It helps you to deal with criticism in future. As you grow older you find that laughing at yourself more contributes to your mental wellbeing. It reflects that you have insight in your problem and self –acceptance hence reducing the stress on you. Generally, laughter releases the “feel- good hormones”- Dopamine, Serotonin, endorphins and Oxytocin from the base of the brain. These natural pain killers ease pain in the body, reduce stress and make us feel good. 

Other benefits of healthy laughing at yourself include the presentation of the real” you” to people: with your strengths and flaws, limitations and vulnerabilities. This is essential in forging-meaningful and genuine integral relationships. It also allows the people around you to relate to you and improve themselves where they can. 

Some tips on how to learn to laugh at yourself. Write how you would do these:

1.) Accept yourself – no one is perfect. Some things like the color of your skin, your height cannot be changed,  just live comfortably with them. You can even exploit what you cannot change like a high pitched voice and earn something from it in voiceovers or Audio books.

2.) .Separate yourself from your performance. Who you are has very little to do with your performance at work, home or in your community. The People with disabilities have a very good motto: Disability is not Inability. You are not defined by one mistake at work or in the community. Laughing at yourself is about laughing about one mistake you once made not laughing at who you are as a person.

3.) Be humble- only humble people can accept and own the mistakes they once made. You can be humble by practicing mindfulness. Sometimes you may have to lower your expectations depending on the situation you find yourself in.

4.) Stopping to control the uncontrollable in your life.

5.) Not being afraid to ask for help. Trying to listen more than you speak- Max Ehrmann in his prose poem, Desiderata, of the 1920s said that the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story.

6.) Not to take things for granted.

7.) Always using the magic words: Thank You.

"True humility means knowing yourself and laughing anyway." Elizabeth Gilbert