Fight for YOURSELF no one else will!

Standing up for your needs and wants, advocating for yourself by clearly communicating your desires, setting boundaries and not settling for less that what you deserve. No one will fight for you as an adult but yourself. You need to be your biggest cheerleader. These are some of the ways to do it:

Practice

1) Asserting yourself with "I" statements.

2) Asking directly for what you need.

3) Knowing what you are worth.

4) Learning to say "No". Prioritizing your own well-being and not being afraid to express what you need.

Aspects

1) Self-awareness - understand your needs, values and boundaries.

2) Assertive Communication - "I" statements express your feelings and concerns without blaming others.

3) Boundary Setting - What you are comfortable  with and not.

4) Confidence building - Believe in our own worth. Advocate for yourself.

How to practice "fighting for yourself":

1) Start with small steps

2) Practice saying NO - politely decline things that do not align with you

3) Ask for what you want - Learn to put your needs first. This takes time and practice but it is necessary for keeping your sanity.

4) Take your time responding especially when attacked - think your decisions thru don't be too rushed

5) Remind yourself you deserve respect - If they don't give you respect demand it. 

6) Avoid combative tones, clarify first without attacking - no need to yell or curse. Choose your tone wisely before you start.

7) Practice makes perfect

Activities that may help you learn to center yourself:

1) Tai Chi

2) Yoga

3) Mindfulness

4) Self-compassion

How to win the battle you have with yourself:

1) Be on your own team - Set a goal and achieve it. Celebrate that you achieved it. Do not let the negative voice appear in your mind to cause you to have self doubt. Do not abandon your goal your self worth takes a huge hit. You become a victim inside of the Victor.

2) Challenges - Enjoy and embrace the hard parts. It makes you stronger, gives you self discipline to keep you moving forward.

3) Pride - Happiness is achievable when you win the battle with yourself. Every time you win against your fears and overcome them, enjoy a burst of pride. This is the key to winning when you push thru all the crap and achieve your goal.

How to achieve self-mastery:

1) Set a goal and stick to it - Victory lies in putting in 100% effort and determination. Hold back your feeling. Fight the doubt!

2) Keep your eyes on the prize - Fighting all the challenges and obstacles are a huge part of the journey. Each time you run into one pick yourself off the floor and fight harder. Your developing GRIT and GUMPTION. You will brighten your journey.

3) Be of services - Help someone along the journey it will help you. I try to do this at least once a week. More if I can. 

4) Argue with yourself - Along your journey as you get stronger and have more faith in yourself, you will learn to argue with yourself. This is normal especially during important decision making. 

Exercise To Do - How to have a difficult conversation 

This is a great template to print out so you can practice "Having the conversation".

To navigate a difficult conversation, focus on understanding, open communication, and emotional regulation. Start by preparing, clarifying the issue, and creating a safe space for the other person to share their perspective. Active listening, empathy, and expressing your own thoughts and feelings in a calm and respectful manner are crucial. 

Elaboration:

1. Prepare and Center Yourself:

• Identify your goals: What do you hope to achieve by having this conversation? 

• Gather facts: Ensure you have the necessary information to support your points.

• Consider the other person's perspective: What might their viewpoint be? Acknowledge their feelings and show that you care. Don't jump straight into criticism or blame. 

• Practice: Rehearse the conversation or the key points you want to make. Plan your key points and potential solutions. Try not to be rigid or stick to a script that ignores their perspective.

2. Choose the Right Time and Place:

• Privacy and quiet: Find a setting where you won't be interrupted and can focus.

• Timing: Consider the other person's availability and stress levels. 

3. Start with Empathy and Openness:

• Acknowledge the other person's feelings: Show that you understand their perspective, even if you don't agree. 

• Express your own feelings calmly: Use "I" statements to share how you feel. 

• Listen actively: Pay attention to the other person's words and nonverbal cues. 

4. Communicate Clearly and Respectfully:

• Express your needs and boundaries: Clearly articulate what you want or need from the other person. Own your emotions but remain in control. 

• Avoid blaming or accusing: Focus on the issue, not the person. 

• Be mindful of your tone and body language: Maintain a calm and respectful demeanor. 

5.  Manage Your Emotions and the Conversation:

• Take breaks if needed: If emotions escalate, pause the conversation and regroup. 

• Don't be afraid to disagree: It's okay to have different viewpoints, but find common ground. Set boundaries and be clear about what you can and can't commit to, and why. 

• Focus on solutions: Work together to find a way forward. 

6. Clarify and Seek Understanding:

• Ask clarifying questions: Ensure you understand each other's perspectives. 

• Paraphrase and repeat back: Confirm your understanding of what the other person has said. 

7. End the Conversation Respectfully:

• Summarize key points and next steps: Reinforce what was agreed upon or any actions that need to be taken. 

• Thank the other person for their time and perspective: Show appreciation for their willingness to engage, apologize when needed and take responsibilities for your mistakes and explain how you will make things right.

Ask a trusted friend to work on this Exercise once a week until you feel comfortable.

"The only person you are fighting is yourself and your stubbornness to engage in new circumstances."